For women

We advertised to men. Nobody came.

Here is an awkward finding we could have kept to ourselves.

In the last pilot we spent money advertising this to men directly. Optimised, targeted, the works. It enrolled nobody. Not a low number. Nobody.

Then we looked at what did work. Men who were asked by a woman came in at nearly twice the rate of men who found us on their own. Eighteen per cent, up to twenty-nine.

So a campaign about men, for men, largely got off the ground because women asked men to do it.

And that's the thing we're trying to stop

This is not your job.

Women being handed responsibility for men's emotional development is the problem, not the solution. If this page turns into another job on your list, we have rebuilt the exact thing we are trying to take apart.

So, plainly. He is a grown man. If you do nothing here, nothing is owed and nobody is disappointed.

If you want to, though

It's a nudge, not a project.

Some women do want to. Usually because there is one particular bloke and they already know exactly who he is.

You pick a man, you tell him why you thought of him, and then it is his. You don't manage it, chase it, or explain it to him afterwards.

It takes you about eleven seconds. It takes him five minutes.

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Worth knowing before you send it

What he's actually agreeing to.

Because he will ask you.

  • One week in November with his nails painted, on a week he picks himself.
  • Two short surveys. One before, one after. That is the whole commitment.
  • Everything else is optional. The diary and the group chat included. He can turn all of it down and still be fully in the study.
  • Getting them done is easy. There is a nail bar within a mile of most people and a discount code at nearly every salon in the country. About half the men in the pilot had theirs done at home by someone they know. Could be you. Doesn't have to be.

One more thing

The eye-rollers do best.

The men who got the most out of this weren't the ones who found it easy. They were the ones who were certain they would hate it.

If he is the sort to roll his eyes at this, you may have the right man.

Nominate a man →